


Fowlstuck

by LittleUggie



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer, Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7516724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleUggie/pseuds/LittleUggie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Artemis Fowl and Co. play Sburb.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fowlstuck

      Artemis Fowl II had lived through many near world-ending crises. In fact, he was directly responsible for keeping many of them from becoming world ending. He had not lived through one of them. He got better. Perhaps it was this fact that kept him from being so perturbed about the fact that the world did seem to finally be waving the flag of defeat.

      Meteors were falling with increasing frequency. The limestone foundation of Fowl Manor rocked with the shockwaves from the impacts. Several frantic message from Holly and Foaly informed him that things were equally dire below. Not so much from the meteors themselves, but from the panic of the citizens of Haven. It was all the LEP could do to keep the flaming riots of the goblin district from spreading. Artemis spared a moment of sympathy for the people, both human and fairy. But he recognized there was nothing he could do to save them this time. Only his indomitable instinct for self-preservation would pull himself and those he cared about out of the fire this time.

      Artemis sat in his custom designed, Italian leather computer chair. The file he had pulled from an unknown source broadcasting from a distant point in the universe waited to be opened on his computer. Copies of the same file waited patiently on the various computing devices of seven others. He attached a wireless communicator to his ear.

      “Is everyone ready?”

      “Ready, Arty!” The response was in stereo. Beckett and Myles were ensconced in what had been their playroom when they were younger, but now served as a workshop/jungle gym for the twins.

      “Hope you know what you’re doing, Fowl.” Mulch had barricaded the door to the office of Diggums and Day Detective Agency and then had burrowed about twelve feet down to set up the (completely not stolen, it was a gift!) LEP issue laptop. Doodah had stopped responding to his messages about half an hour ago, but he was trying hard not to think about that.

      “We’re ready when you are.” Juliet sat in front of her computer screen in the old groundskeeper cottage on the edge of the Fowl’s estate. Butler was cross-legged in the corner meditating. The strain of many years of chasing after his charge showed not so much on his face, but in the air of weariness that hung about him. He was willing to follow his young master on one last adventure, though. Provided his sister would do the heavy lifting.

      “I believe I am ready.” No 1’s stumpy tail wagged nervously as he eyed his monitor. He still wasn’t quite sure about all this new technology, but working with Dr. Argon on navigating the differences between demon and fairy culture had helped him immensely. (He had tried to get Foaly to explain some of the technology to him but he could only understand about every tenth word he said. There are some things the Gift of Tongues does not extend to and tech-speak is one of them.)

      “Let’s get this show on the road, Mud Boy.” Foaly stamped his front hoof. Caballine placed her hand on his shoulder. Not taking his eyes from the wall of screens, he reached up and laced their fingers together. Briefly, he considered getting out one of his old foil hats—but no, that would be no help in this situation. He’d seen Artemis pull miracles out of thin air before. Let’s see what the Mud Boy’s come up with this time.

      “All right, Artemis,” Captain Holly Short was seated in her apartment in Haven, in direct opposition of the orders of her commanding officer. She clutched her badge in her left hand. She had fought so hard to get it, to keep it. But now…well, it didn’t matter now, did it? None the less, she tucked it into her pocket before turning her attention to her computer with laser focus. “Let’s see what you got.”

      Artemis smiled. A grin that could (and had) make the hardest criminal flinch. Oft compared to a vampire or a wolf, it was the smile of a hunter. One whose will to survive made him the top of the food chain, willing to do whatever it would take to win. It is September 1st, his 16th birthday. By his own standards, anyway. To the rest of the world, it is his 19th, but what the rest of the world thinks has always been immaterial to him.

      Today is his 16th birthday, and like all 15 preceding it he feels the sands of time slipping through his fingers as his extraordinary life slowly uncoils. Artemis Fowl II is not one to let anything undo him, not even time. As he has proven before. The meteors outside continue to fall from the night sky like so many grains of sand. But perhaps a few of those grains can be stolen back.

      “When to bed the world are bobbing, then's the time for orchard-robbing; yet the fruit were scarce worth peeling, were it not for stealing, stealing.” –Noted philanthropist Vincenzo Peruggia.

      “Time to play.”

**Author's Note:**

> The quote is actually by Leigh Hunt from the poem "Song of Fairies Robbing an Orchard". Vincenzo Peruggia was an Italian thief who once stole the Mona Lisa. 
> 
> For those who were wondering, here are what the class and aspect of the different characters are in my opinion:  
> Artemis: Thief of Time  
> Myles: Mage of Mind  
> Becket: Rouge of Hope  
> Juliet: Sylph of Rage  
> Mulch: Bard of Doom  
> No. 1: Witch of Life  
> Foaly: Seer of Space  
> Holly: Knight of Breath
> 
> Butler, the Fowl parents, Julius Root, Foaly's AI, and Qwan all end up as sprites.


End file.
